I honestly love you ♥

it was a memorable thursday_29042010
I felt that I was back in last year's birthday
again
we met each other in Starbucks
but this year's was at Border's Starbucks
as last year's was at Sunway Pyramid's
I didnt know that I like Starbucks so much
or maybe its easier to locate?
I have no idea

something repeated
I arrived earlier
so I waited for him
the feeling went back to last year's
sitting on the sofa
surfing the net (booking online ticket for my family members)
and waiting for his call (I used to it cause everytime before we met he will call me)

time passed by
1316LMT
46minutes later than the time I'd dated him
he called
in less than 1 minute the face that I'd hungered to see for the pass few months
appeared outside the window that I was facing
he still looked the same since we last met
he wore a white polo shirt with tiny green strips (should be...if not mistaken)
but I still prefer the pink polo shirt that he wore on my 19th birthday
he asked me to transfer some dramas to his hdd
and he said to me that it was his GIRLFRIEND's hdd
I can't believed what I just heard
I felt that my brain just ignored the word "GIRLFRIEND"
althought I heard this before from XiaoXing the day before
this was the first time he confessed in front of me that he has one
and seriously
I was so sad
but then I still need to pretend that it's none of my business

we walked away from Starbucks for lunch
he was on the phone
I followed behind him
my thoughts were all messed up
I was imagining how great it would be
IF he walks beside me
with our hands holding each other's
talking and giggling

in the end we made up our mind to eat at Kim Gary
actually I was the one who decided
as he had no idea what to eat
but I think that he was just gentleman enough to let me decide what to eat
I got to know him more while ordering as he doesnt take beef
hmmmm was that an improvement?
as we ate, we talked
while we talked we looked at each other's eye
but I think that my sight was quite uncertain
I didnt know that he realised it or not

we met Mr. R and XiaoXing after we finished our lunch
Mr. R's face looked weird when he saw us walking out from the restaurant
while walking to another place to meet XiaoXing
again I walked behind them
from the reflection of the glass
I did look like a fool
a fool that followed his steps without thinking twice
a fool that cared about him without his knowing
a fool that loved him with her whole heart
a fool that looked foolish enough to be a total darn FOOL!
it was not April fool after all

at last
he sent me back
his car was very clean!
and with some furry lil' cushions
its cosy
in less than 10minutes
I was back at home
conclusion: end of the day

I didnt hope it ends here
but I had to force myself to let it ends
is it the best solution?
I didnt know
I didnt want to know either

all I want to say
but I can't say it to you face to face
I didnt have the guts to do this
and it seemed to be the hardest phrase

I HONESTLY LOVE YOU ♥

in love,
Lynnette ♥